I am a Tube light

Twenty-five years ago, when I first arrived in America, I was intrigued by how Americans greet others. “Hello, how are you?” People greet others warmly and even say hello to a stranger on the street. I loved it –I am a warm, loving, caring person, and I love to greet people with a smile. However, sometimes I struggled with American humor. It takes me a long time to comprehend it. If you are in a roomful of people where everyone is laughing, and if you see a guy looking awkwardly – that’s me! Sometimes, I don’t know why they are laughing; I laugh because everyone else is laughing, and that’s when I turn into a Tube light. A tube light, known as a fluorescent bulb in America, takes much longer to warm up. It flickers before it lights up completely. Sometimes, my mind reacts the same way to American humor. Friends, let me tell you three incidents when I became a Tube light.

Art work by Prachurya Baruah

The first incident was when I gave a speech about Charles Goodyear, the legendary American inventor. Goodyear discovered vulcanization, the process of heating liquid rubber called latex with sulfur powder, transforming it from a useless sticky mess into the foundation for tires and other products we use every day. To explain the process. I decided to use a prop – a rubber. I saw a rubber lying on my teenage daughter’s desk, I asked her, “Can I borrow this rubber?”. “This is not a rubber; this is an eraser   …and Papa, please don’t say a rubber.” “Why? I asked in surprise. I went ahead with my speech. During the speech, I tried to explain vulcanization, the change in the chemical composition of rubber when a powdery substance is poured over the liquid. I brought out another prop, a packet of rubber. But as soon as I opened the packet and showed it, the audience started laughing. Why? As my Tube light flickered, it suddenly hit me that in America, this packet of rubbers actually is – that family planning thing!

The second incident happened during our club's fall social. It was a potluck, and when Scott, the party host, handed me the sign-up sheet, I asked, “Do you like Chicken Curry?” “Oh, I love Chicken Curry,” he said. Since I was planning to bring the curry from India One O One (101), a nearby restaurant, I asked Scott, "Do you know why it’s called One O One?" To my surprise, Scott responded out of the blue, "Oh, it reminds me of my college days." College days? Why? It completely flew over my head. I wanted to ask him, “Scott, I am talking about an Indian restaurant, so why are you talking about your college days?” I wondered if it was an American idiom, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him; it would be embarrassing. Now, people with Tube Light Syndrome have an excellent quality—they don’t give up; they are eternal optimists. They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I looked for clues as to why the number 101 reminded Scott of his college days when I saw Paul smiling at me. Dr. Paul, a physician, has enormous empathy for someone like me suffering from Tube Light Syndrome. He thought about it and said, “You know what, it’s elementary.” Bingo! I understood! The elementary courses in college in America are called One O One, Physics One O One, Chemistry One O One, and Mathematics One O One. That’s why, when I mentioned One O One, Scott's eyes illuminated with nostalgia, his heart ached, and he longed for his bygone days! Life gave me a lemon; I turned it into lemonade!

The third incident was when I gave a speech titled, “Running a Race of Life in Half Pants.” Back in middle school, it was common to wear half pants; by high school, everyone switched to long pants. But some of the boys started wearing long pants earlier than others, and they began to bully me for not following along. My speech was about how I stood my ground and went on to win the 100-meter school championship race in my beloved half pants. Before I spoke, my Toastmaster mentor advised me, “It’s called shorts, no one would understand half pants, you must enunciate it clearly – say H A L F pants.” I took his suggestion seriously and practiced many times. During my speech while enacting the 100-meter dash, I spoke and moved simultaneously. I was breathing heavily, my body was throbbing, and my heart was pounding. Perhaps my voice wavered a bit because when I finished, everyone started laughing. Someone asked, “Did you say HOT pants?” I quickly replied, “No, it's not hot pants, it is half pants.” As my tube light flickered, I realized my innocent, pure childhood story had turned into a hot, spicy, salacious, sultry, seductive tale. Life gave me a lemon, and I turned into an orange.

Friends, twenty-five years ago, a young man arrived in this country. He has learned a lot, but even now, he sometimes doesn't understand everything. As his tube light flickers, he waits to see what life offers him, and when life gives him a lemon, he turns it into lemonade.