Thorns and roses

Ours was an arranged marriage. Twenty years ago, while going for a short vacation to India from America, where I had moved the previous year, I was introduced to my future wife upon arrival. Less than a week later, we got married, and less than 72 hours after tying the knot, it was time to fly back to America. I was about to start a new life, with a new wife in a new country, I was overwhelmed.  I turned to my mother for help – Mom, what’s going to happen to me? My cheerful mother, who was tending her flower garden, smiled. With a twinkle in her eye, she handed me a blooming red rose and said – “Life alternates between the positive and the negative – the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the roses and the thorns.” She then hugged me and said, “Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. My son, be thankful that thorns have roses; you will always be happy!”

The speech is dedicated to , Anjana (Momi) Bora - What I have become today is because of her.

We landed in Atlanta—a city with a rich history, dazzling skyscrapers, and the glamour of hosting the 1996 Olympics. The city is also a natural paradise, surrounded by magnificent mountains, sparkling lakes, and enchanting dogwood trees. The picturesque, lively city looked like an illustration straight out of a fairytale, and we had the most memorable year. Then, we had the chance to visit India for a month-long vacation. Since it was our first visit from America, there was a lot of excitement. My wife began shopping almost three months ahead of time, went on lengthy shopping sprees, and ended up with a pile of luggage—large, medium, and small suitcases, handbags, shopping bags, gift bags—you name it. Even on the morning of departure, she disappeared only to return with a huge stuffed Teddy Bear. When I loaded the stuff into the taxi, I was exasperated by the sheer volume of it all. Then, at the airport, as I was unloading, I heard a loud scream. It was my wife: “My pink carry-on was left behind.” I could not believe it! From the corner of my eye, I looked at my watch— the flight was leaving in two hours. I just froze, raised my hand, and prayed—oh my good Lord, have mercy on your child. But then someone pushed me. It was my wife: “What are you doing? All the gifts for my best friend are in that luggage—do you understand? Go and get it, please.” I called a colleague for help, who, like a maniac, drove me to the apartment, helped me collect the bag, and rushed me back to the airport.

We hurriedly checked in and caught the international flight just in time. But the drama continued throughout the international, regional, and domestic airports, and at the destination as I had to carry all those suitcases, handbags, gift bags, and shopping bags from carts to trolleys, from trolleys to shuttles, and from shuttles to taxis. It was as if I was carrying thorns, spines, and prickles jabbing me everywhere, left and right. Friends, I am telling you the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth.

Friends, we finally arrived – in one piece! We were warmly greeted by my wife’s relatives. There was great excitement in the air as the gifts were opened, and everybody was happy. Anjana had decorated each one with neat, handwritten notes; I was touched by her attention to the minutest details. She stood there like a radiant red rose – blooming, bright, brilliant.

We returned after a month. When I returned to work, my colleague, in front of everyone, recounted the airport incident. But then, as soon as I started sharing the full story—how Anjana's last-minute shopping caused the mishap—my colleague, who had been quite friendly until then, suddenly turned hostile and began shouting at me. “This guy is spinless. He lets his wife push him around?” He completely went bonkers, calling me a henpecked man, browbeaten, bullied, a coward, every name in the book. I was livid, but then I recalled my mom; this guy was simply someone who could only see only the thorns and grumble. But unlike him, I was able to get past the thorns and reach for the roses. The realization made me euphoric, and I stood there smiling.

Friends, life has two sides – the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, just like roses and thorns. Think of it like a coin – only one side is visible at a time. When difficult times come, remember not to despair or lose hope, because the other side is just momentarily out of sight. Twenty years ago, I chose to focus away from the thorns, and in return, I was greeted with an abundance of roses – blooming, bright, brilliant. Friends, it has worked for me, and I believe it could work for you too, if you’re willing to give it a try.

YouTube link

https://youtu.be/ea4WdhgRw50

Toastmasters Evaluation by Stacy Efthymiou

Great job on your second round of giving this speech. Last week I gave you the constructive feedback that I had noticed you had hesitated and paused a little bit between each word. Today, you implemented that feedback, as I did not observe more than one moment of hesitation. Everyone has some disagreements with their spouse, but not many are brave enough to voice marital disagreements in a speech, so I applaud your bravery, but I know it was all said in good fun. And I liked the moral to your story of thorns versus roses, where sometimes we as humans can expect roses but there are no situations that only have roses and have no thorns. It can be sad when we realize that a lack of thorns is just not reality. And I liked that you ended on a hopeful note that when all you see are thorns, all you must do is flip the coin over and find the silver lining or the roses.